June | MTF Training Exercise #6
As industry professionals we've been spoiled by the fact that large amounts of food just magically appear when it's time to eat on-site at an event. This luxury could work against us during the apocalypse. Food will be scarce, and it's safe to bet that nobody will be bringing food to usthey'll simply eat it for themselves.
Brace yourself. I'm about to tell you something that may rock your world. To survive, we'll need to be willing to actually find and prepare our own food. I know, I know, it's a tragic thought. And, that's assuming you can find food.
I don't need to delve into the long list of disgusting items we may be reduced to eating in order to survive, but I'm sure it will be far worse than we could ever imagine. The question is: After all these years of being spoiled, how will we stomach these apocalyptic delicacies? The answer to this question is the same solution for every food issueBACON! Or, more correctly, bacon flavoring in a handy portable vile.
Simply add a few bacon drops, and that pile of goo that has rotted to a point where its previous form factor is unidentifiable now becomes tolerable enough to consider having seconds. In extreme scenarios where actual organic matter is not available and your brain convinces you that cardboard filling the lining of your stomach is a better option than doubling over in pain from the unfathomable hunger you are experiencing, just reach for these bacon drops, and what was once considered intolerable magically becomes a glorious breakfast extravaganza. We have all said, "Everything tastes better with bacon!" Unfortunately, we'll soon learn how true that statement really is.
But wait! There's more! Bacon flavoring can save your life in more ways than pleasing the palate.
Consider how difficult it will be to get a decent night's sleep with millions of flesh-eating zombies running around. How do you protect yourself? Simple. Sprinkle a few bacon drops on your friend as he sleeps, make your bed at a considerably safe distance, and sleep peacefully knowing you're the least tasty-but smartest-survivor around.
Test the bacon drops today, but use them sparingly. You'll need them in six months!