October | MTF Training Exercise #10
Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I've said it before, and I'll say it again and again, because that's the strategy we're all used to. Up to this point, you've received enough Mayan Tragedy survival items to prepare you for the worst. Now it's time to hope for the bestand what better way to appease the ancient Gods than begging them for mercy?
Like most primitive cultures, Mayans resorted to human sacrifice and eating the human heart to please their Gods. But, apparently, modern society now has stiff penalties for human sacrificeplus where are you going to find a virgin with such late notice?!?!?!
Lucky for us, the Mayans were also big fans of cocoa. According to a Board-certified Voodoo Doctor in Latin America, you can fool the Gods by mixing two of their favorite things: human sacrifice and chocolate. The good news is that we've done all of the ground work for you. Enclosed is your anatomically-correct, chocolate human heart, ready for sacrifice!
Sounds like a fun task doesn't it? All you have to do is eat chocolate and you will be saved. Who knew salvation could be so easy? Well, there is one small catch… To prevent the Gods from becoming wise to your sacrificial shenanigans, you have to eat the entire chocolate heart in one sitting. That's right, if it were easy, anybody could do it…
Make up some Mayan holy chants in between bites.
I'm sure it will all work out.